


Arch Enemies, 9 to 5

by Lenore



Category: Smallville
Genre: Community: wednesday100, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-16
Updated: 2011-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 04:46:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenore/pseuds/Lenore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark and Lex are enemies. But only when they're on the clock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arch Enemies, 9 to 5

**Author's Note:**

> This week's [](http://wednesday100.livejournal.com/profile)[**wednesday100**](http://wednesday100.livejournal.com/) brought out these visions of Loony Tunes wolf and sheepdog for me. Here's my [drabble.](http://www.livejournal.com/community/wednesday100/422562.html) But I really had a lot more I wanted to say. A hundred words was just not enough. So here's the expanded scene.

The superhero biz was a tough line of work. The pay was lousy. There were no benefits. And it involved things like explosions and bullets and typhoons that were hell on spandex. Superman went through uniforms like allergy sufferers went through Kleenex.

Still, it was a job, and in a hard economy, just being employed was something to cherish.

Today, he was tracking Lex Luthor to his latest secret lair. He had no real idea what Lex was up to, but he just had that itchy feeling. No doubt there was a grandiose scheme in the offing.

He located the facility, busted through several layers of concrete and titanium. Kryptonite defense systems had been ruled out of bounds in their last round of binding arbitration. So Superman had no problems getting into the lab.

He found Lex atop a platform, bending over some kind of wacky looking invention, tinkering with a wrench. Lex looked up at the commotion and smiled in smug triumph. "You're too late, Superman!"

Superman planted his feet and crossed his arms over his chest. He'd heard it all before. Many times, in fact.

"You doubt me?" Lex said. "Then let me demonstrate. When I bring my Weather-nator online, I'll have control of the world's climate. The entire planet will be at my mercy." He laughed maniacally and hit a big red button.

The machine whirred menacingly to life, lights flashed, sirens wailed. But then it started to rattle violently, sputtered pathetically, coughed and finally sent up a defeated plume of black smoke.

Lex stared at it, his face falling, an expression Superman had seen many times in the past. Lex's doomsday devices had a tendency to—well, flop.

Lex sank down on the edge of the platform, kicking his feet sulkily. "Nothing I do ever goes right."

Superman sat down beside him. "Hey, don't get down on yourself. It was a very creative idea."

"Don't patronize me!" Lex said hotly.

"I'm not! Honestly. You had me totally shitting it there for a minute."

Lex's face brightened. "Really?"

Superman smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Really. You always give me the most trouble of anyone."

"Even more than Metallo?"

"Pfffft!" Superman waved his hand dismissively. "That weenie?"

Lex perked up even more. "Thanks."

"No problem." Superman clapped him on the back companionably. "Hey, what say we knock off early? Go get a bite?"

"I could eat. Just not that diner again. The chili gave me heartburn last time."

"I told you not to order it." Superman rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I think you may have mentioned that before. Once or twice or *three thousand* fucking times."

"Testy, testy." But he couldn't help grinning. Lex was amusing when he was pissy. "Just to prove what a swell guy I am, you can choose the place tonight. Anything but sushi."

"You know, if you just gave it a chance, you might like it." Lex sighed. They'd had this conversation before. "Fine. So how about Italian?"

"Sounds good."

They got up and headed for the door. Superman whirled around in a blur, closing up shop for the night, changing back into himself. Lex threw his black gloves onto his worktable, hung up his white suit coat, and slipped into a more casual and snappy navy blue sport jacket. The all-white ensemble was fine for villianry, but not something he liked to wear out in public after Labor Day.

"You ready to go, buddy?" Lex asked.

Clark nodded. "I'm starving."

Lex turned off the lights and locked up. They could pick up where they'd left off tomorrow.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Arch Enemies, 9 to 5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3853780) by [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton)




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